Emotional roller coaster


Yep this is how I’m feeling right now. I have moved from MD to SC. It is now nearing the end of June.
Right now I want to back all the way out of leaving. I am scared out my mind. I am about to leave the United States of America my home my family my friends the only place I have ever known. I am taking my child and uprooting her praying I am making the right decision.
As I type I am shifting from scared to calm sense of peace. By the time I get to the end of this post I’ll be excited.
Yep I’m on an emotional roller coaster.
Am I happy?  YEP
Do I regret saying yes? NOPE
Am I excited? Sure am
Am I ready? As ready as I’ll ever be
Have I prayed about? Daily
Will I miss the USA? I’m sure I will
Am I scared? HECK YES
However my fear is minimal compared to how excited I am.
I am going to be in a position most people only dream of. I am going on a new adventure. Anything new is suppose to be scary. I don’t have a lot to go on. Not like I have friends or family already in Kuwait that are like come on over let me tell you all about it.
Nope I’ve got Facebook people I’ve made contact with. Each person will have their own experience and that’s okay.
My goals
1. Have fun
2. Keep an open mind
3. Save
4. Get out of debt
5. Travel
6. Give my daughter the world to experience
7. Give myself the world to experience
8. Remain positive
9. Keep my passion for education
10. Grow as a Christian, mother, teacher, person

As long as I remember my goals my reason for going fear can kiss my behind. I will not the devil rise up in my happy and steal my joy.


I told you by the end of this post I’ll be excited and I am excited. 
49 days and counting.

Two down…so much more to go

Okay so I’ve completed move number one and documents are being authenticated. (I broke down and acid someone else to complete the last two steps for me. Moving had me stressed. Ramadan added to the stress. Let someone else deal with it.)

So as I sit here in my mama house my main goal is to not go stir crazy in SC.
Honestly there is not much to do. It’s hot and sightseeing is not free like DC.

I have school assignments to keep me busy. I have to purge my things at my mama house.
I declare I am a pack rat and I need help. I got crap from high school and I graduated in 1999. Somethings I want to keep because they hold special memories and besides social media wasn’t around and all I got are memories from stuff.
When I’m old and gray I want to be able to look back on life and say hey give me that I remember what happened that day or smile at the memory because I want to keep Somethings to myself.
I still have things on my to do list but at least it’s getting shorter and not longer. Gonna take a couple of weeks to relax.
56 more days.

Scared straight

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
II Timothy 1:7 NKJV

I have two weekends left in MD. This weekend I wanted to put a major dent in cleaning and packing. I started to clean the kitchen of things I won’t use and don’t need…..didn’t finish so I moved to my room…..didn’t finish or even start.

I started to get scared. I mean really scared. I asked Melissa what are you doing? Are you crazy? You are packing up and moving to Kuwait. Have you lost your senses completely? I haven’t had not one naysayer come my way but oh was I naysaying myself.
I sat down and fixed my daughter’s hair. I tried to clean and pack again. The fear was crippling. I laid right on down and took a nap.
When I woke up I did not feel any better of anything I felt worse. I mentally cried out. Then I remembered God did not give me the spirit of fear. So I pulled my big girl panties and cleaned up. I put the clothes away in the car that is going to good will. I trashed what needed to be trashed. I took pictures of what I need donate and have them come pick it up.
I finally made the reservation to have the tow thing installed on my car.
My apartment is in various stages of packing. Next weekend is it. I have to packed up and ready to go June 17. We leave June 18 at 300am.
This week I will get my fingerprints authenticated  (they finally came in)

Everything is coming together slowly but surely. I’ll be in deep mediation tonight with God to calm my behind down.