The Dark Side

lonely

Let’s take a moment to talk about being lonely.

You decide to pack your life up and move. You have talked to others who have done the same thing. You are excited. You get settled into your new life. You begin to travel. You like your job once again. Life is starting to make sense. But there’s a dark side no one talks about…LONELINESS

You sit at home or in a room of people who have become your family away from home and you feel so alone. You drop tears. You blog. You Facebook. You pray. You travel. You talk to friends and family back home. Bottom-line no one truly understands unless they have been an expat. Don’t get me wrong it’s wonderful life but you have to trade your familiarity of your regular life for this new life. You have to navigate a new country. You have to learn new people and open up to them. You miss birthday celebrations. You miss holiday celebrations. You miss funerals of loved ones.

depression

In my case I have to make sure my child is okay as well as myself.

I remember falling completely apart in front of her. I was so frustrated. I just sat on the floor and I cried. I dropped tears of fear, loneliness, frustration….in front of my 8 year old daughter. We had a heart to heart that night. I told her how I felt. She ended up comforting me. I picked myself up and put her to bed.

I still have my moments of loneliness but I have learned and quickly I have to let others in and create my village. I have to trust my village to be there for me and my daughter.

I am an introvert and I use to staying to myself for extended periods of time but being away from family and friends in a different country being an introvert is suffocating and exhausting.

I have friends. I have my village. I am learning to lean on them.

When you see us posting on social the happy side, the travel, the glitz and glam, and all the other positive things please remember there is a negative side to all this. We smile in public because we know you worry about us and we don’t to over worry loved ones.

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